Dog Quotes From Inspirational To Funny To Brighten Your Day

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
~ Abraham Lincoln

Dogs travel hundreds of miles during their lifetime responding to such commands as "come" and "fetch."
~ Stephen Baker

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
~ Bern Williams

When dogs leap onto your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed.
~ Alisha Everett

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
~ Gilda Radner

If my dog is barred by the heavenly guard We'll both of us brave the heat!
~ W. Dayton Wedgefarth

A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal.
~ Robert Brault

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
~ Mark Twain

I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source.
~ Doris Day

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.
~ George Bird Evans

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
~ Jack London

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
~ Josh Billings

From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.
~ Mabel Louise Robinson

It is a truism to say that the dog is largely what his master makes of him: he can be savage and dangerous, untrustworthy, cringing and fearful; or he can be faithful and loyal, courageous and the best of companions and allies.
~ Sir Ranulph Fiennes

Lots of people talk to animals. Not very many listen, though. That's the problem.
~ Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Every dog should have a man of his own. There is nothing like a well-behaved person around the house to spread the dog's blanket for him, or bring him his supper when he comes home man-tired at night.
~ Corey Ford

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.
~ Roger Caras

I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source.
~ Doris Day

Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog; but you're never friendless ever, if you have a dog.
~ Douglas Mallock

The dog represents all that is best in man.
~ Etienne Charlet

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
~ Robert A. Heinlein

No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.
~ Louis Sabin

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
~ Mary Bly

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
~ Will Rogers

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
~ Corey Ford

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
~ Roger Caras

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
~ Ambrose Bierce

A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.
~ O.A. Battista

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash?
~ Robert Brault

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
~ Woodrow Wilson

Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience.
~ Jon Winokur

The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man.
~ Robertson Davies

A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such.
~ John Holmes

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
~ Steve Bluestone

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
~ Alfred North Whitehead

The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.
~ George Graham Vest

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
~ Edward Hoagland

I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.
~ W. Dayton Wedgefarth

An old dog, even more than an old spouse, always feels like doing what you feel like doing.
~ Robert Brault

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
~ Dereke Bruce

Puppies are nature's remedy for feeling unloved, plus numerous other ailments of life.
~ Richard Allan Palm

I would recommend to those persons who are inclined to stagnate, whose blood is beginning to thicken sluggishly in their veins, to try keeping four dogs, two of which are puppies.
~ Elizabeth von Arnum

Dogs who chase cars evidently see them as large, unruly ungulates badly in need of discipline and shepherding.
~ Elizabeth Marshall Thomas

A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.
~ Helen Thomson

Dogs are miracles with paws.
~ Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

I watch my dogs. They throw themselves into everything they do; even their sleeping is wholehearted. They aren't waiting for a better tomorrow, or looking back at their glory days. Following their example, I'm trying to stick to the present.
~ Abigail Thomas

A man's soul can be judged by the way he treats his dog.
~ Charles Doran

The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state the dog is full of love.
I've also proved, by actual test,
A wet dog is the lovingest.
~ Ogden Nash

I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.
~ Bonnie Schacter

I've seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
~ John Steinbeck

Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage.
~ Agnes Repplier

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
~ Ann Landers

When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget they're not people.
~ Julia Glass

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
~ James Thurber

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.
~ Alexander Pope

I can train any dog in 5 minutes. It's training the owner that takes longer.
~ Barbara Woodhouse

Happiness is a warm puppy.
~ Charles M. Schulz

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
~ Franklin P. Jones

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
~ Phil Pastoret

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment.
~ George Eliot

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's.
~ Mark Twain

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two.
~ Maurice Maeterlinck

The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!
~ Dave Starr

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
~ Joe Gores

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.
~ Christopher Hitchens

All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.
~ Charles M. Schulz

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants."
~ Johnny Depp

If you don't own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.
~ Roger Caras

I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
~ Abraham Lincoln

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
~ Arthur Conan Doyle

It's just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn't it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.
~ John Grogan

The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.
~ James Thurber

The dog’s agenda is simple, fathomable, overt: I want. “I want to go out, come in, eat something, lie here, play with that, kiss you. There are no ulterior motives with a dog, no mind games, no second-guessing, no complicated negotiations or bargains, and no guilt trips or grudges if a request is denied.
~ Caroline Knapp

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet; and amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog has made an alliance with us.
~ Max DePree

Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dog.
~ Ernest Thompson Seton

Sometimes you're sure dogs have some secret, superior intelligence, and other times you know they're only their simple, goofy selves.
~ Deb Caletti

Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.
~ Pablo Neruda

My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!
~ Greg Curtis

A dog is like a person—he needs a job and a family to be what he’s meant to be.
~ Andrew Vachss

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am.
~ Charles Yu

I believe it's our loss of connection with our instinctual side that prevents us from being effective pack leaders for our dogs. Perhaps it's also why we also seem to be failing at being positive guardians of our planet.
~ Cesar Millan

To lose the approbation of my dog is a thing too horrible to contemplate.
~ Barbara Dana

My dogs have been the reason I have woken up every single day of my life with a smile on my face.
~ Jennifer Skiff

I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear.
~ Josh Stern

Few celebrate a dog who jumps at people as they approach--but start with the premise that it is we who keep ourselves (and our faces) unbearably far away, and we can come to a mutual understanding.
~ Alexandra Horowitz,
Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know

You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.
~ W. Bruce Cameron
A Dog's Journey

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul—chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
~ Anne Tyler

Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
~ Bonnie Wilcox

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
~ Will Rogers

I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs.
~ Barbara Woodhouse

Humans are aware of very little, it seems to me, the artificial brainy side of life, the worries and bills and the mechanisms of jobs, the doltish psychologies we've placed over our lives like a stencil. A dog keeps his life simple and unadorned.
~ Brad Watson

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.
~ Marilyn Monroe

Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. "He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!"
~ Jerry Seinfeld

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
~ Ogden Nash

The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's.
~ Polish Proverb

I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
~ Abraham Lincoln

When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.
~ Henry David Thoreau

Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.
~ Oxford Union Society, London, Rule 46

A person who has never owned a dog has missed a wonderful part of life.
~ Bob Barker